Today I wanna talk about marriage, and how being a stay at home mom effects your marriage. But I also wanna talk about how it can fuel our already exsisting insecurities. For women, alot of our perseption on marital issues descend from insecurity. Being a wife and a mother in itself is already a tuff job. Being a mother is one of the most rewarding and satisfying jobs there is. But it can also be the most defeating. Sometimes being a homemaker requires so much focus on the kids that you start to lose a part of yourself. Most days are spent with messy hair and yoga pants , food on your shirt, no makeup , and lets be honest, your lucky if you have time to shave your legs or even take a shower.You are litterally at a place where you feel so unattractive, that you actually ask yourself if you should even go anywhere that day.Because of this you start to feel like your husband wont even want to be intimate with you. So what happens...... You leave the lights off or take everything off but your shirt, or you cut back on giving your husband the passionate ,intimate part of you. The part that Christ designated solely for him. When this happens it puts a divide between you and your husband. Ladies....God wired men to need intimacy to make them better leaders. Sometimes loving yourself and excepting your flaws , is all you need to fix the intimacy in your marriage. But its not just our body image that feeds our insecurity. Your also living your days with different choices then you use too.. So you start thinking about the young woman you used to be, So Your choices have gone from where am i gonna eat tonight , to what does everyone else like to eat........From waking up early to do your hair and makeup, to waking up early and packing lunches...... Your left with choosing between....sleeping in, or working out........Or cleaning the kitchen before bed or reading your favorite book. You usually choose to do the 2nd option and overtime it becomes part of your scheduled routine. So it becomes more and more about what everyone you love likes... and less about what you enjoy. So what happens is ...... You start to lose the fun part of you. You yourself lose a part of who you are. You can verbatim give a list of all the kids and your hubby's interests, their favorite color, their favorite food. What they like to do for fun.......You can recite all of this without pause. But if you were asked what your list was .....would you be able to recite it without thinking.Make the choice to work out. Do your hair every once in awhile. Sometimes even if your not going anywhere , simply looking at yourself all dressed up in the mirror , is confirmation enough to know "you still got it." Take every oppurtunity you have to do what you enjoy! You are not a bad mom or a bad wife , for taking some time for yourself. Go to the store alone, take up a hobby, dont feel guilty for buying yourself clothes. You owe it to your marriage to take care of yourself. We can also start to begin to feel unworthy and insecure, because we spend alot of our time waiting and watching. Waiting on the kids in carpool, waiting in the lobby of the doc office, waiting for them to fall asleep. Waiting on our husbands to get home. Watching the kids grow up and seeing all of their acheivements, watching your husband get promoted, watching everyone of them excel and succeed. Although this brings joy to your heart and peace to your mind, it can still leave us feeling left behind, and lost. You sometimes are left asking yourself if you are more then just a mother and wife. This is a normal human reaction. Espeicially when your children are too young to show appreciation. And its even harder to do when you gave up your career to dedicate your life to your family. So you start thinking and blaming your husband to dedicating his life to his work.These feelings can lead to you resenting your husband. Sometimes in marriage the higher up the ladder your spouse gets at work. The less you see him. In turn you start to feel like you have no purpose. Well I want you to know mommas of the world...... While your husband is busy creating a better today.........your busy creating a better tomorrow. What you do matters..... How those kids end up in our future society , makes all the difference in the world. You are worthy. You are beautiful. Even though you feel defeated and lonely, just putting on a simple smile makes all the difference in the world when that man of yours walks in the door. Bite your tongue dont nag. Keep postive friends around. Dont stick yourself in a place where you dont have adult interaction for long periods of time. This will cause you to put all of that responsibility on your husband. Regardless of what our feelings tell us, regardless of what hollywood tells us. Our husbands are only called to love us....They are not called to keep us happy . Happiness comes from You! Find what makes you happy. Turn to God for support. Pray for God to open your heart to discover the possibilities that already exsist in you.
The key to a marriage surviving is ...... Finding yourself By loving yourself And loving Christ
Everything else will fall into place..... Dont focus on trying to get him to change so that you can be happy........
Focus on making yourself happy........ Seek Christ Daily Workout Daily Laugh with a friend often Primp yourself up weekly Love yourself always Smile even when your sad!
It is possible to love your husband and love yourself too.
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