• The Busy Praying Mom

To the girl who used to hate herself.

Today, I was looking for some extra flashlights and batteries. As I was searching through a cabinet that doesn't often get opened, I came across these photos. This is me. Now I started saying the most insecure things to myself.....Things like, "what happened to that girl?"" Wow I wish I was that skinny again." "I use to have so much fun!"" I was so pretty." Well, I had to catch myself ..... not just because these thoughts are not good for the soul, but also because these are things, I would never , ever want my daughters to say about themselves. The more I thought about it, the more I loved who I am today. The truth is the old me was an idiot. I made horrible decisions, didn't listen to anybody, I thought I knew everything, and I was living in sin. Here I was a girl with so much potential. I went from one bad relationship to the next- searching for love everywhere except in the arms of Jesus. I was a moral person. I didn't live life like a rebel or commit crimes. In fact I was always playing it safe. Except for where it mattered the most. I was a lost broken girl, that hated herself because the abuse and neglect that I had throughout my life caused me to live the way an unloved person lives.I felt so unlovable that I fell for anybody that told me I was pretty. It took alot of mistakes and alot of tears to make me realize that morality didn't get you to the promised land. So I started praying, stopped partying, and I stopped looking for relationships with men to fill my void. I became a lover of Jesus and in turn He helped show me how to be a lover of myself. But not for pride, or arrogance. But so I could be the best version of myself for my sons, my daughters, and my husband. So that I could finally understand what unconditional love felt like. So that I could live a life that glorifies Him. So now I can look at these pictures and see how far I have come, as opposed to how far I have left to go. I am still growing, still trying , and still have to look in the mirror an tell myself I am a good mom. So for anyone feeling like they are not who they used to be, remember that who you are is a reflection of God, not a reflection of who you want to be. I may not be as skinny as I once was, but I have the hips that birthed amazing beautiful little people. I may not be as pretty on the outside, but I am so much prettier on the inside. I may not have alot of time to myself in this chaos of motherhood, but I have been blessed with the oppurtunity to shine His light on my children. I may not be the smartest girl in the world, butI am a heck of alot smarter than I used to be. I still doubt myself all the time....But I rest in knowing He is bigger than what I am about to face. The biggest difference between me now, and me then......is I am no longer doing it without Jesus. So I am ok with who I am today. I love me ,because He loves me. That is enough.


391 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Having Anxiety doesn't make you Faithless.

Anxiety and Fear. These 2 words are powerful. But not powerful in the way you would expect. They are powerful because they have the capability of stopping you in your tracks. They can shut your life d

  • Black Facebook Icon
  • Black Instagram Icon
  • Black Pinterest Icon
  • Black Twitter Icon

© 2023 by BusyPrayingMom. Proudly created by Chappell Enterprises

  • Snapchat
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Black Twitter Icon