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  • Writer's pictureThe Busy Praying Mom

The truth is... I'm scared.

I don't think I can speak for all parents . So I will just speak for myself. Maybe someone else will relate. I am so far from perfect. I am a sinner. I am redeemed. I have not been myself lately. I make mistakes just like everyone else. The truth is...I am scared. I'm scared for my country, my children, my family

and my friends. Most of all I am sad. I am sad for humanity. I have been for a long time. The empathy I carry on a daily basis is too much to bare sometimes. I have anxiety. You mix that with motherhood and the year 2020 it often feels chaotic. So with everything going on right now in America, it triggers me to have moments of overwhelmed frustration and sadness. I am only human... and honestly... I just want to live a simple life, raise my kids, mind my own business and be happy. But I want to be able to turn on the tv and not see people killing each other. Or people fighting. I am sick of babies being hurt, injustice being spread and inequality rearing it's ugly head. I am sick and tired of all the hate. I fear the world that my children will inherit. I am a mother, and a wife. I barely have time for myself. I am exhausted. I just want a kind world. I just want good to prevail. I get it. I know that's not going to happen. I know what the Bible says clearly about this place I am passing through. But it is scary, and overwhelming and exhausting. So I find refuge in God every second of every moment that I can. But you know what? ... Sometimes I stumble. Sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me. Because the truth is being a Christian isn't easy. It's hard. It is worth it. I will never change it. But it is hard. Having Faith and trusting His plan has always been my hardest obstacle in Christianity. I started this page because I wanted to inspire. I wanted to encourage others. I was ready to be God's tool. For His Glory. That through Him, you could smile or find strength in some way. I don't always get it right. But sometimes I do. I am sorry if I have led anyone away from anything other than His light. Sometimes after awhile, being a light for others, causes that light to become dim. But it's not suppose to. The last thing I want to do is spread more hate, and more fear, and more division. That's not who I am. That's not why I started this journey.....and that's not what I am called to do. There are days I am just trying to juggle everything. There are days I am barely holding myself together. I am just trying to be the best mother and person I can be. I fail daily. But I get back up and I try again. I truly love people. No matter who you are. Who you vote for. Or what your views are. At the end of the day you are my brother, my sister and created in His image. I have prayed. I am holding on to Faith. But I am scared. This country is broken. I can't just pretend like it's not. So until then...I'm holding on to Hope, Faith and His love. I will pray daily. I hope you will too. The truth is. We are all scared. That's why we are mad. That's why we are passionate. But He is the light at the end of the tunnel. We just have to follow it. How about we do it together. How about we stop the name calling and the outbursts. Let's just get through this as Americans. As Christian's. Most importantly as people who come from the same Creator. After all... we were not created for hate. @Busyprayingmom

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