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  • Writer's pictureThe Busy Praying Mom

The Girl You Used to Know

There are days she looks in the mirror, and she sees the woman God built. She sees all the ways He has redeemed her. All the ways He loves her, and all the times He saved her.

But sometimes she sees that younger version of herself. Every once in awhile she has trouble looking at the girl she used to know. Too often she has to pray the memories away.

She has to remind herself that this girl is safe now.

She has to struggle to hold back tears.

But...She composes herself, and she smiles.

Because she knows that the woman she is now, is someone he will never know...And the girl he used to know is gone. The one that ran away. This girl had die in order to live.

She never forgot the man that hurt the girl he used to know.

She never forgot all the ways he hurt her.

She never forgot how he used her.

She never forgot how bad he made her feel.

She never forgot how he kept her secluded.

She never forgot the way he picked her on purpose.

Knowing she was broken. Knowing you could manipulate her.

Knowing she was never going to be allowed to grow under his grasp.

Knowing that all he wanted was 1 thing.

Knowing that he was never going to make an honest woman out of her.

She is now the one he used to know...

She's the one that believed him when he said age was just a number.

The one that didn't know any better.

The one with daddy issues.

The girl who thought he loved her.

The one that let him convince her that it was normal.

The one who let him use her.

The one who gave it all away.

Only to lose it all.

The same one who sat there shattered as he continued to break her down piece by piece.

The one that let him take her away from her family, her school, her friends, and her childhood.

Only for it to end up with broken promises.

Only for her to be left with a stigma.

Only for her to feel dirty.

Only for her to feel ashamed.

Only for him to make her the bad guy in the story.

So before she walks away from the mirror...

She has one message for the man that doesn't know her now.

"I am not that girl anymore."

"I see it now"

"It was never okay"

"What you did to me was wrong"

"16 was too young"

"I no longer believe your lies"

"Don't look for that girl"

"I told her goodbye"

"I sent her in search of something better"

"I killed your version of consensual"

"I watched her fly away"

"I made sure she let Jesus catch her"

"Don't come looking for the girl you used to know"

"Don't ever think I fell for you"

"A part of me died because of you"

"If you ever find yourself wondering what happened to the girl you used to know.."

She's gone.

But the woman that you will never get to know is still here, and she's untouchable.

"She rose above what you did to her.

She became the mature woman you said she would never become."

"She found better"

"She made it her mission to keep other girls from losing it all."

"She loves herself"

"She is redeemed"

"She is finally feeling worthy"

"The girl she used to know didn't let her die"

"She sits at the foot of the cross everytime something triggers her thoughts of you"

"She rests in knowing how loved she is despite what you took away from her."

"God gave back everything you stole from her"

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