Well today has been one of those days. I realized today that I wasn't valued the way I thought I was. Did it hurt? Heck yes. Did I walk away? Yes. But it needed to happen. I needed to see the truth regardless of how I felt. Sometimes God intervenes that way. I simply wasn't where He wanted me to be. To be honest it probably stung a little more than it should have because it was from people I considered friends. I thought God had opened a door of opportunity. I thought maybe just maybe the passion and work I was putting in over the years was coming to fruition. Unfortunately I was wrong. I can live with that. But it doesn't make it right. I thought my skill was noticed. I thought my passion would be seen. Sadly it turned out I was only ever a pretty face and a soft voice. I will be ok. I quickly put my big girl pants on and accepted my fate. But I had a moment where I felt like a failure. I had basically rearranged my life and made some changes to the kids everyday normal to partake in what I thought was God's purpose for me.. NOPE. I made some huge sacrifices and still in the end I wound up feeling defeated. I think as humans that happens sometimes. I knew my worth, we all know our worth right?? My mistake was putting my worth into anything else but God. I guess the only reason I did was because I had convinced myself it was from Him. You know the saying...."When 1 door closes another door opens". It's true. I know better things will come. But it doesn't change how disappointed I am. There is something painful about hearing that you don't bring value. I thought to myself "Wow" I honestly didn't even know what to say. I kind of
just sat there. Somewhere between disbelief and humiliation. There is so much more to me. I know that. Sure I can be bummed and pout. But why? Every door God has ever shut has always been what was best for me. So I know this is too. One day my value will be behind the door that will lead to Gods purpose for me.
Maybe you have had something similar happen to you. Maybe it was a job, or a relationship, or a deal that went bad. Maybe you are going through it right now. I want you to remember something... It is only temporary. God sees a lot further than you ever will. He sees your future success well before you even have a thought as to what it is. People will let us down. Sometimes people will never see just how deep our heart really is. Jobs and opportunity will pass us by. But God's promises are eternal. Even if your value goes unnoticed by the people closest to you. You are far more valuable in the arms of God.
I reminded myself tonight of all the things I am able to put more focus on. My beautiful children My amazing husband and finally getting some of those pesky home projects complete.
I reminded myself of all the people that find value in me. That. Is. Enough.
I love to write. I love to inspire. I love my life. Most of all I love Jesus. Nothing can ever change that.