She got lost, so Jesus could swoop in.
This is the story about a girl who lost herself.
For the first time in her life she wanted to be loved.
She wanted to be so lost in love that she couldn't find her way back. She wanted to get lost in the woods and build a house. She wanted to get lost in motherhood. She wanted her children to get lost in her hugs and kisses.
She wanted her husband to get lost in passion for her.
She new she would lose people.
She new that people would pass away.
She new that people would come and go.
But...When she would dream of getting lost, never for second did she think she would be losing herself.
She never thought she'd become insecure.
She never imagined she would lose her self worth.
She never knew that the anxiety could be at a level that high.
She never even knew that when she got lost in motherhood she would slowly chip away at the person she had worked so hard to become.
She knew every shoe and clothing size of her husband and children, yet didn't even know what size she was anymore.
She rarely cooked what she liked to eat.
She could recite every favorite movie, ice cream flavor, color, or toy that her family liked.
But when asked what she likes, she couldn't answer.
She made sure everyone she cared for was clean and fed.
But she was lucky if she got to eat before 2 and didn't get to shower everyday.
She made and scheduled every doctor or dentist appt. But couldn't make time to go herself.
She asked people to help her clean up.
But rarely did they listen.
She cried in the shower so her children didn't see her cry.
She was told that being a stay at home mom meant she didn't want to work. Yet she did the job of 8 people.
People thought she wanted things handed to her but little did they know she was constantly giving all of herself to her family.
She wanted to go back to work , but had no skill or work experience to provide. Because she spent the last decade and a half managing her household.
She barely gets sleep anymore because a baby cries or she sacrifices sleep for time to herself.
She went from taking the time to dress nice to putting her hair in a bun and wearing pajamas half the day.
She felt like a hypocrite, because she would teach her kids the importance of reading the Bible, yet she didn't make time to read it herself.
She was told that it was all because she didn't do self care. Because she didn't put herself first.
Little did they know she had no idea what being put first looked like. She was only trying to break the cycle.
There was always chaos. No matter how much she tried to make peace.
Someone was always crying. No matter how many tears she wiped.
The house was always messy. No matter how much she cleaned it.
Someone always didn't eat no matter what she cooked.
Her marriage struggled because the chaos kept their focus away from eachother.
She cam to realize his love for her was never going to be the same.
She got lost. Absolutly lost.
Satan swooped in.
He made her believe she was failing.
He told her she wasn't raising her kids right.
Karen next door made her think it was a competition.
Social media made her think she doesn't do enough with her kids.
He made her stumble in Christianity.
Because that's what Satan does.
He will make you get lost in his
So oneday she stopped asking the kids to help.
She stopped caring what people think.
She stopped trying to get noticed by her husband.
She went off to get lost in Jesus.
She started reading her Bible.
She started doing things she used to enjoy before she had kids.
She prayed more.
She smiled more.
It no longer mattered if anything else around her changed, because her attitude did.
She stopped feeling sorry for herself and started listening to God.
She recognized the blessing in front of her.
Because she loves her family.
She would lose herself all over again.
This is motherhood.
There is no promotion or quarterly review.
She will probably always be taken for granted.
There is no one at the end of the day that's gonna give you a pat on the back and say good job.
Only hugs and kisses and tuck ins.
She could live with that.
That was enough.
If she was going to go down in flames 🔥. It wasn't going to be because of Satan.....
And she wasn't going let her kids get burned.
His lies were no longer going to effect how she patented.
She is part of God's army.
This time she had completely lost herself to change.
But she had to lose herself so Jesus could find her agian.